I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
