if i can run in heels then i can drive
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
