She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
