mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
