oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
