love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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