I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
