My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
