Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i drank out of a bidet.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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