he wants to bone in the snuggie
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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