Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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