I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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