found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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