this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
