i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
