she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
