i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
