Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
