Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
