My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
