he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
wow bdsm is so cute
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
