i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
