i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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