I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
