I'm drive I can fine osifer
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
