Where is the hickey?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
