There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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