Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
