you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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