Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
