now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
