Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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