So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
