i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
