brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
the day after is always just damage control
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
