# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Let the clothes fall where they may.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
