is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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