I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
