Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
