when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
