Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
