Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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