I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
