idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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