Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Mom said you looked used
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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