Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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