There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
