so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
