her vagine was all disorganized.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
