Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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