First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
