your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
