in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It was like getting head from an anaconda
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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