If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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